Realized I couldn't upload my picture...Wondering if anyone else is having this problem too?

My super duper spreadsheet has failed me. Or more accurately, I failed myself since there was quite a bit of human error involved! Bahh!

I never added in the $300 dollars a weekend that I always allow for, so when this weekend was over I tallied up in my head that we had only spent 200 or so. I was excited to transfer the rest to savings except when I pull up my bank account online and my spreadsheet there wasn't anything to move because I had actually never even had that 300 dollars to begin with! My line item for weekend didnt exist and so now it's like I lost that money! Not sure if that made sense at all to anyone, but I guarantee you that money is gone :/. So now I hope to make up for it by having a cheapy weekend this next one coming up! We'll see..

To express my frustration at this situation, I crocheted an angry evil bunny. See below. :P

On a positive note, baby girl is being a perfect angel today!

Today was a bit better. Mama had an ok day at work, and there wasn't a huge accident on the interstate so it made picking up G much more bearable without the insane hours spent on the road. My mother was sweet as anything and made me lunch when I came through the door. Her afternoon work was cancelled so she didn't have to rush off right away so it was nice to sit and talk and relax. She knows I had a rough day yesterday and tried to allay my fears about this transition to working mom and I do feel a bit better. For now I need to enjoy this flexible schedule I have. I'm currently only working 3 days a week for 5 hours a day so I certainly need to calm down and relax and enjoy the situation as it is for now. I left a comment on my previous post thanking everyone for their kind words. It really means a lot that I've met such caring people on a financial site.

I'm an emotional wreck. I went to my first day at work yesterday and I don't know if I can do it again today. I don't want to be there. I'm crying day and night (when I'm not in the office) and I feel like I have no support. T feels guilty and so he just shuts down. None of my friends have kids so I have no one to confide in. All I have is my mother who's watching my girl when I'm at work and it's so hard. Why does everything fall to the women?? My husband is hardly impacted at all; he drops off the baby on his way to work. My mom has changed her entire schedule to care for her. I then have to drive out 45 min after work to pick her up and then another 45 min home. I end up doing double duty, because I'll work then take care of the baby then take care of the house and it's too much. I know my husband will say he'll help and then after a couple days he'll forget. I'm sure he's probably accustomed to how things were in his house. His mother took care of the house. But you know what?! She was a stay at home mom and she could. I can't do everything and I don't want to. My mother wants to move closer for a number of reasons but also so that I don't have this insane drive every day but my Dad is stubborn and refuses to budge. He doesn't seem to have any compassion. They are financially in a very poor place so it's not even like my mom could come out here and rent an apartment during the week if she wanted and space is tight in my house or I'd ask her to stay here during the week while she watches the baby. I just don't know what to do. I don't want to work but I have to and the only one who's helping me is my mother. I'm so freaking sad it's unreal. I don't understand what I did so wrong in my life to be in this position that I can't stay home with my baby...

Sorry I'm being so melodramatic. I just have no one to talk to.

So today was the day I started back at work. Hopefully I can stretch out part-time work for the next 5 months, but we'll see...

I told T I would wake up with him to get the baby changed and fed while he got ready (I live closeby to work so I had time to do what I needed once they left). When I was feeding her and looking down at my little girl I started bawling. A full on, not at all pretty cry and when it was time for them to leave together (so my husband could bring her to my mothers house) I was a total wreck.

I held it together at work but then had to battle insane traffic (2 hrs to get to my mothers house) before I got to see my baby again.

Such a difficult day. And I have to do it all over again tomorrow :/

I hope this gets easier...

So my MIL has this huuuuge issue with pacifiers. I've read up on them and what I've seen is there is a risk of ear infections and down the line if your baby is using them past 3 years old it might cause dental issues.

Sometimes my baby gets really fussy and she loves to stick her hands in her mouth to soothe herself but hasn't quite figured out how to do it (or maybe it's just that her fingers are still too small). So for maybe 30mins a day I'll use a pacifier to calm her down and keep my sanity.

What is your experience with pacifiers? Did you not use them? At what age did you quit using them? Did you experience any dental issues?

My mother tells me I both sucked my thumb and used pacifiers when I was little and I've had no dental issues. I have a feeling that if they were so detrimental you wouldnt see such widespread use of them and whole walls filled with them at baby stores.

Please weigh in!!!

So since our little one has been around we are not eating out hardly as much and it feels GREAT. I never realized how much money we were spending on food on the weekends, but we've easily covered all the diapers/formula/baby expenses by cutting down on eating out. How exciting!!

So T tells me the other day that he might get a raise!

His review is this month and it's been brought to his attention recently that even though he is assistant manager, there were multiple people working underneath him that were making either the same or more. He confronted his boss about this and his boss said he would look into it. He's since made the case to his boss that T deserves to be paid more. So when T gets his review by the end of this month we should find out how much more that might be. How exciting!!

look at my little chunkette! :P

At 10 weeks she weighed 12.5lbs but the doctor wasnt concerned. Says she's perfectly healthy and "some babies just like to eat!" Guess she gets that from her mama haha.

oky doky, back to the housework. :P

Just stopped in to update the sidebar. Slowly but surely our debts are going down. Part of me is really dreading going back to work part-time (will start full-time again at the end of June) and being away from baby girl, but the other part of me is excited to start moving ahead with financial goals again.

Yep yep, that's all.